If you really think about it, we spend as much or often more time at work than in our personal lives-- especially in today's connected world where it seems we never stop working.
Our jobs involve interaction with clients, colleagues and supervisors. These work interactions seem different than our personal interactions. Yet, communication and relationships are central components of work. Therefore, repetitive patterns from childhood can be destructive for our work lives, most especially when they are unconscious.
I worked with “Regina”, who received her MBA from a top school and aspired to be a financial analyst. One of her first interviews began as a group interview at Goldman Sachs. It was extremely competitive with every other candidate trying to outdo each other by every means possible.
The competition was furious.
Regina was afraid to compete. While the others jockeyed for attention, she sat there silently and waited to be “discovered”. Regina did not get the position.
As Regina and I began to work together, she told me she was not “supposed” to feel competitive or anxious or threatened. We discovered that this stemmed from her relationship with her father, who wanted her to be superior, but told her not to compete with her sisters. It had put her in a double bind; she had to stand out and be superior without showing outwardly that she was trying.
“I was always hoping my father would discover me.”
No matter how bright, well-educated, or well suited you are for your job or potential job, to succeed (as Regina did eventually), you have to put aside old destructive patterns from your past. In Regina’s case, she had to learn that a group interview was not the family dinner table.
If you are having problems at work, like Regina, you may need to distinguish between your present work scenario and old family ones.
Are you acting out old patterns in your work life? I can help you make them conscious so you can move on and become more successful at work.