Not being able to tolerate ambivalence is a major problem for the majority of my patients. But tolerating ambivalence is crucial for being able to maintain intimate relationships as well as for making decisions. In close relationships we always have a mix of feelings--loving feelings and angry feelings, satisfied feelings and disappointed ones.  

Similarly, when we make a decision, there are pros and cons. It's rare for a decision to be all one way--if it were, we would not have to make a decision! Many people think that they can’t make a decision if they feel ambivalent. But it is normal and healthy to make decisions while feeling ambivalent. The crucial issue is the valence of the positive and negative feelings.

For more of my thinking about living with ambivalence, CLICK HERE or on the image above to read my article on thirdAge.